Reward chart for kids: how to make it actually work
A reward chart works best when it’s simple: one behaviour at a time, a clear ask, a sticker straight after it happens, specific praise, and a small reward that isn’t too far away. That’s the advice from the Welsh Government’s Parenting. Give it time service and the NHS. Here’s how to set one up for children aged about 3 to 8, and how to stop it fizzling out by Wednesday.
General parenting tips from UK public-sector and charity sources, not medical or professional advice. Every child is different; if you’re worried about your child’s behaviour or development, talk to your health visitor or GP.
What a reward chart is for
The Welsh Government’s parenting guidance describes reward charts as a way to encourage and praise your child for positive behaviour, and to start helping them follow simple instructions. Your child collects stickers or tokens each time they behave positively, then swaps them for a reward later (GOV.WALES: top tips for using reward charts). The NHS makes a similar point more broadly: rewarding good behaviour helps, and you should be specific about what they did well (NHS: dealing with child behaviour problems).
Seven rules for a chart that works
1. Pick one behaviour
GOV.WALES says it’s best to focus on one behaviour at a time, such as tidying up their toys every day before bed. A chart with nine targets on it is a to-do list, and nobody under 8 is excited by a to-do list.
2. Make the ask concrete
“Please pick up all the toy cars and put them in the basket” is clearer than “Tidy your toys away”, says GOV.WALES. If your child can’t picture what “done” looks like, they can’t earn the sticker.
3. Get them involved
Make the chart together with paints and colourful paper, and let them help decide the reward. You could put pictures of the rewards on the chart, or use a puzzle and hand over one piece at a time (GOV.WALES). Put the chart where they can see it; older children may prefer it in their bedroom.
4. Sticker straight away, with specific praise
Give the sticker straight after the good behaviour, and say why. GOV.WALES suggests something like “I liked the way you shared your toys this morning. Here’s a sticker for your chart.” The NHS gives the same kind of example: “Well done for putting your toys back in the box when I asked you to.” (NHS)
5. Keep rewards small and frequent
Rewards don’t need to be expensive. GOV.WALES warns that if there’s too much time between the sticker and the reward, your child may lose interest. Its example is 8 stickers by the end of the week earning a friend over for tea or a trip to a favourite park. For little ones, shorter gaps are easier to wait for.
6. Never take stickers away
GOV.WALES is clear: don’t threaten to remove stickers and don’t remove them for problem behaviour. That needs dealing with separately. A sticker earned is a sticker kept, otherwise the chart becomes a punishment chart with extra steps.
7. Reward after, not before
The NHS puts it bluntly: don’t give your child a reward before they’ve done what they were asked. That’s a bribe, not a reward (NHS).
What makes a good reward?
GOV.WALES suggests trying not to use sweet treats, and instead thinking of free, fun things your child likes, like jumping in puddles or blowing bubbles (GOV.WALES). Sheffield Children’s NHS Foundation Trust has a list of non-food reward ideas, including:
- reading a book or playing a game together
- inviting a friend over to play
- building a fort out of boxes and blankets
- a visit to their favourite park or playground
- watching a film together
- a dance party at home where they choose the songs
It also points out that a tick or sticker on the chart is a reward in itself, and that ongoing praise, a smile, a hug or a high five matter just as much as the reward (Sheffield Children’s NHS: rewards without food).
Adjusting for age, roughly 3 to 8
There’s no official chart for each age, so treat this as common sense rather than science:
- Younger children do better with one very concrete job, a sticker immediately, and a reward that comes quickly. The NHS advice to be realistic and not expect perfection or instant results applies here more than anywhere (NHS: teaching your child everyday skills).
- Older children can usually cope with a longer wait, a bigger agreed reward and a bit more say in the rules. Sheffield Children’s NHS suggests that for older children rewards can be more long-term and bigger (Sheffield Children’s NHS).
When it isn’t working
Charts don’t suit every family. In one of the Welsh Government’s own family stories, a dad says reward charts just ended in competitiveness and arguments, and he lost track of it all, so his family focuses on praise instead (GOV.WALES: take time for praise). GOV.WALES’s advice is simple: if the chart isn’t working, don’t worry, try something else (GOV.WALES). The NHS also says to be consistent and get everyone who looks after your child dealing with things the same way (NHS), which is harder with a chart that lives on one fridge.
A chart that lives on the phone
I made Tidy Stars for kids of about 8 and under. They pick a job, tap their button when it’s done, music plays and they earn a star; the stars add up to a treat you choose together. It handles more than one child, it has no ads and no account, and it’s £3.99 one-off on the App Store. It’s a reward chart, not a parenting method, so all the rules above still apply.
Read next
- Chores for kids by age: ideas for what to put on the chart
- How to get kids to tidy their room
Questions
Do reward charts work?
They can, if they’re kept simple. GOV.WALES suggests one behaviour at a time, a sticker straight after it happens with specific praise, and small, frequent rewards. It also says that if a chart isn’t working, try something else.
What age is a reward chart for?
There’s no set age. GOV.WALES describes charts as a way to start helping children follow simple instructions, and suggests older children may prefer the chart in their bedroom. Tidy Stars is made for children of about 8 and under.
Should I take stickers away for bad behaviour?
No. GOV.WALES says not to threaten to remove stickers or remove them for problem behaviour; deal with that separately.
What are good rewards that aren’t sweets?
GOV.WALES suggests free, fun activities your child enjoys. Sheffield Children’s NHS lists ideas such as reading or playing a game together, a trip to the park, building a fort or a dance party at home.
Is a reward the same as a bribe?
No. The NHS says not to give a reward before your child has done what they were asked, because that’s a bribe, not a reward.